You aren't really a parent if...

• You think "Ferberize" is something they do to your dry cleaning.
• You've never drunk apple juice from a sippy cup.
• You finish an entire conversation without forgetting what you were talking about.
• You suspect "Onesie" might be the latest grunge band.
• Your purse isn't full of Cheerios.
• You have to put your latte down to get a baby buckled into their car seat.